Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Surely God Must Have Laughed!

This morning brought snow with it!  A beautiful dousing right after dawn that covered my porch with a light blanket of fresh white.  Our cars, the driveway - all a pristine white, marred only by doggie paw prints and hubby's boot prints. 

We both got ready for work, even though hubby's commute is almost an hour, across the mountains, and mine is about 30 minutes.  We were honor bound to go ahead and prepare for the day.  After all, who knew if the snow would last or not.  Here in Georgia the snow can be inches deep and then disappear just as quickly as it arrived. 

And then, joy of joys!  Work was delayed for two hours.  An extra cup of coffee while surfing the web!  I decided that I needed to look at shoes - did I really say that when fabric is the only thing worth surfing the web for these days?  Well, yes.  I looked at Amazon, Zappos, Famous Footwear - it was glorious!  I put shoes into my shopping cart for at least an hour and then decided that I really had better start getting ready for work.  But it really was a luxurious start to the morning.

I dressed, put on my face, gathered my things together and walked out into the kitchen.  Having already had a second cup of coffee, I decided that I really didn't need to fill my travel mug.  And since lately I've been using one of my favorite pottery mugs as the travel mug of choice, it would be much safer on my counter than being transported through the doggie minefield that is my front porch and walkway, where I waltz with Lacy every morning while trying not to fall or spill my coffee.  So I turned the coffee pot off and prepared myself to go out into the snow.

Imagine my shock when I looked out and realized that it had started raining and that beautiful pristine snow on my porch was now a slushy mess!  A slick, slushy mess that had to be crossed while battling 100 pounds of leaping, nipping, pushing, smelly, wet Great Dane.  That's when I realized that God truly does have a sense of humor. 

He's been watching me in the evenings, as I waltz down the road with Lacy on my back, gyrating to the beat of a band only that goofy dog hears.  I imagine Him smiling while I'm waving my arms wildly, trying to keep her big nose out of my treat pocket, losing my balance and wobbling all over the place as she pushes and shoves, intent on getting her way yet again.  So He must have REALLY been laughing at the sight of me standing there in my kitchen, staring in horror at that wet wintery mess I had to walk through to get to my car and trying to figure out how in the world it could be done without falling down and getting soaked.

I looked out the windows to the driveway - no sight of Lacy or her smaller sidekick, Zoey.  They weren't on the porch either.  Had they followed the school bus up the mountain?  I hadn't heard it go by and surely school was cancelled for the day or delayed.  Were they in the front yard slipping and sliding in the snow and having a great time?  Or had they gone out to my cousin's for breakfast since her husband loves to feed them? 

And here's where I figure God began howling with laughter.  I started wondering if I could sneak out of the house and make it to the car before the doggies realized I was OUTSIDE.  Surely God and all His angels must have been holding their sides at the sight of me when I left the house.  Purse and umbrella tucked close, I very quickly shot out the door and duck walked as carefully and quickly as I could across the porch and up the walkway; carefully but rapidly went up the two flights of steps, clinging to the railing.  I paused at the landing, looking both ways for signs of the thundering herd, and seeing nothing, quick-walked through the slush in the driveway to the car.  What a huge sense of accomplishment when I made it to the car without a single nudge, shove, lick, nibble, or slap on the back!  Could it be?  Would I actually make it into the car quickly and cleanly?  Hurry!  Hurry!  I opened the door and then managed to fumble throwing my purse and umbrella into the passenger seat.  They landed in my seat instead and I had to start over.  Panic set in and I couldn't get into the seat. 

My legs wouldn't work.  Could I remember how to sit down?  My brain stopped working.  And then...I KNEW I could hear Lacy running down the driveway.  Looked over my shoulder - nothing was there.  Could she be that sneaky?  Could she actually run without making a sound?  Could I get in the car and get the door closed before she pounced on me?  Was I fixing to get a lapful of wet dog?Would she get hit by the door?  I looked behind me again.  Still no dogs.  I was going to make a quick and righteous exit!  It was going to happen!  I dove into that car and slammed the door like my life depended on it.  Cranked it up, let my windshield wipers knock the snow off, and turned the car around, headed down the driveway and off to work. 

And that's when I knew that God really DOES have a sense of humor, because I could swear I heard Him laughing!

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